Try to understand
When you were still in your mother’s womb
the Sahi family of Salegutu had tricked your
parents into thumb printing a plain sheet of
paper, through which he usurped your father’s
land.
Your parents became landless while fighting the case.
When you were in the fourth grade, your father became
a dhangar (??) in the Lappa village.
Your elder brother became a dhangar(servant?) in the house of
a farmer.
Your mother and middle brother became laborers in Ranchi
You and your brother immediately older than you remained at home.
Your life had a new beginning with your two brothers.
Undaunted and unafraid of pouring rains and lightening,
you worked day and night in the fields.
Incessantly working in the fields of the farmers, you plucked spinach in Goda Tand
Alone in the unforgiving sun, you picked karanj underneath the karanj trees.
Or picked kernels of Lah (??) under the Lah tree.
Or at other times, looked for food under Pakar, Dumar, mango, jackfruit and koyanar trees.
You were alone.
But undaunted, you stayed there.
Amassing all the karanj in a towel, and lah in a bundle,
you traveled 5-6 miles to the Raikera market, Turbul market,
or at other times, Bakaspur market to sell the goods you had so assiduously
gathered.
You bought a pound or two of rice from the market, and then with the last ray of Sun
announcing its departure, you came home alone.
Even then you remained there undaunted.
You never complained.
You went to Kotobo school, Ramtolya school, and Kamdara school all alone.
You would cross the overflowing river in pouring rains all alone.
You would travel 10-12 miles under the unbearable heat of an unforgiving sun alone
When your throat was parched with thirst, you would drink from the river
You would relax under the shade of a jamun tree.
Even then, you were alone.
After receiving your diploma for having passed the eighth grade
from Glowshop Memorial High School, Kamdara, you took the train
from Kabaspur to Ranchi to continue your education.
Remember, even then you came alone.
Life in the city, crowds of people,
the dazzle and the glitz, canter on the roads,
the traffic of speeding cars,
everyone is a stranger in this crowd
even then you were alone.
You wanted to continue your studies, but you
did not even know which school you should apply
or where you would live and what you would eat
The only thing you knew, and that kept you going was
that you wanted to study.
Remember, even then you were alone.
A byre became your home
open sky became your roof.
Strangers became your neighbors
Punjabis, Bengalis, Biharis, washermen, servants of the rich,
they all became your comrades
Even then, you were all alone
You applied for admission into Saint Margaret Girls’ High School
You would wash dishes for the policemen on the main road to earn enough to survive
You would sweep their camps every morning.
Even then, you were all alone, weren’t you?
You passed the 9th grade, the 10th grade
and you needed more money.
You would wash dishes, and clothes at various homes before going to school
At times, you would get enough to eat, at others, you would have to go hungry
Remember, even then you were alone
The pen and the pencil which your fingers would constantly grasp, and which came with
you from the village to Ranchi are still with you.
The same paper, the same pen
when you cried, tears would well up in your eyes
These same two hands would wipe them
These same tears would console you
All of them are still with you.
Then why do you complain that
you are alone?
You were born on Tuesday (Mangal)
that is why some called you Mangri
You were born on the full moon (Purnima)
that is why some called you Purnima
Your parents wanted to name you after a grandmother Bandhani
When you went to the Church, they called
you Dayamani, and you liked that name
Hey look... everyone is with you.
Then why do you complain you are alone?
Why do you then feel so?
See, Mangri, Purnima, Bandhani and Dayamani are
all together, and will live together
humm...
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